The Psychology of Spending
🧠 Why We Go Into Debt (It’s Not As Simple As “Bad Choices”)
Most people assume debt is a math problem. In reality, it’s far more emotional than logical — and often rooted in decisions made for today, not for who we’ll be tomorrow.
Here are a few patterns many of us experience, especially at Holiday times of the year:
1. Emotional Spending
Sometimes we spend to feel better, calmer, or in control — even if that feeling only lasts a moment. It’s not about the item; it’s about soothing something inside us.
2. Wanting to Belong or Show Love
Gifts, dinners, events… it’s easy to slip into the belief that spending equals caring. For some, giving more than they can comfortably afford comes from a deep desire to connect or be accepted.
3. Avoidance & Anxiety
When money feels overwhelming, many people simply look away — avoiding bank accounts, balances, or bills. Avoidance gives temporary relief, but often leads to long-term stress.
4. “Money Martyrdom”
This shows up when you consistently put others’ needs ahead of your own — buying for everyone else, easing others’ financial discomfort, or using money to manage relationships.
None of these patterns mean anything negative about you. They’re simply information — clues that help you understand what’s been driving your behaviour around money.
Learning to recognize these patterns is really about becoming familiar with your Future Self. When you understand what’s underneath your habits, you’re better able to make choices today that support the version of you who comes next — so when tomorrow arrives, you’ve already got your own back.
These behaviours aren’t random. They’re shaped by stories, beliefs, and emotional shortcuts that formed long before money felt like a choice.
🔍 The Habits Underneath
Behind every money habit is a belief — usually one we didn’t consciously choose.
They often sound like quiet, familiar thoughts:
- “I have to spend to show I care.”
- “It’s embarrassing to talk about money.”
- “I’ll never have enough.”
- “I’m just not good with money.”
Most of these beliefs formed early, long before we had our own bank accounts or real choices. They were shaped by what we observed, what felt safe, and what helped us belong at the time.
When those beliefs show up now, especially in emotionally charged moments like holidays, they often steer decisions toward relief today instead of well-being tomorrow.
This is where your relationship with your Future Self becomes meaningful.
When you begin to recognize why these habits show up — not to judge them, but to understand them — you create a quiet bridge between who you are now and who you’re becoming. That bridge makes it easier to make choices that feel supportive over time, not just soothing in the moment.
That’s where awareness starts — and where real possibility opens up and new questions become possible.
Elevated Moment
When we understand our patterns, we’re better positioned to design a life our Future Self will thank us for.
For this, I turn to Ramit Sethi’s work, he surprised and delighted me with the way he thinks about money.
🌱Ramit Sethi’s Philosophy of a Rich Life (It’s not about being rich — it’s about being intentional.)
Ramit Sethi, author of I Will Teach You to Be Rich, has a philosophy that surprises many people:
“A Rich Life isn’t about having a huge bank account. It’s about living a life that feels meaningful, expansive, and aligned with what matters to you.“
When we look at this through the lens of the Future Self, something shifts.
Instead of reacting to the moment, we begin asking:
What kind of life am I building for the version of me who comes next?
One way to explore that question is by noticing how you currently relate to money.
Having language for our patterns is the most compassionate place to begin.
The Money Psychology Self-Assessment Quiz helps you identify your patterns around spending, saving, avoiding, or giving, especially during emotional or stressful moments. These patterns don’t define you, but they do influence the future you’re creating.
The quiz is simply a pause — a chance to ask:
Are my current money habits supporting the life my Future Self is stepping into?
Want more?
Click link for Further Explorations.
Elevated Insight
✨ What a “Rich Life” Really Means
According to Sethi, a Rich Life is:
- Deeply personal — you choose what matters
- Values-based — your spending reflects what you truly care about
- Guilt-free — you spend lavishly on what you love, and cut ruthlessly on what you don’t
- Clear and intentional — your money becomes a tool for designing the life you want
It’s the opposite of generic financial advice like “stop buying lattes” or “just budget harder.”
This is where the Future Self becomes especially helpful. By exploring what kind of life you’re building — and who you’re building it for, reflection invites you to understand where the habits came from.
When we step back and look at money through this lens, we’re no longer asking “What should I be doing?”
We’re asking something much more meaningful.
The Money Psychology Reflection Worksheet is designed for a deeper dive. It helps you slow down and explore the beliefs, experiences, and emotional patterns that shape your relationship with money — and how those patterns influence the future you’re building.
What does a fulfilling, meaningful life actually look like for the person I’m becoming?
When money is guided by awareness and intention, it often shifts from a source of stress into a source of possibility.
Want more?
Click link for Further Explorations.
Elevated Awareness
💡 The Core of Ramit’s Philosophy through the lens of your Future Self
Sethi often says:
“You should spend extravagantly on the things you love — and cut costs mercilessly on the things you don’t.”
When we bring the Future Self into this idea, it becomes less about rules and more about relationship.
When you truly know your Future Self — when you feel connected to them and clear about what they want — it’s easier to make grounded choices. You’re not denying yourself joy; you’re simply being thoughtful.
Just like with a good friend, when you care about their long-term wellbeing, you’re also mindful of what actually supports them.
Clarity creates trust.
And trust reduces self-sabotage.
For many people who grew up with guilt around spending, fear of running out, or the belief that joy must be earned, this perspective is deeply freeing.
A Rich Life, in this sense, gently reminds us:
- You’re allowed to experience joy
- You’re allowed to choose what matters
- You’re allowed to build a life that feels nourishing, steady, and supportive
When money choices come from friendship with your Future Self, they tend to feel calmer — and far more aligned with building a life that feels ‘Rich’.
Further Explorations
Because curiosity deepens awareness.
Each month, I share a few favourite resources for anyone who wants to dive a little deeper — articles, podcasts, books, and research that build on what we’ve been exploring together around the mind, body, and conscious living.
Just click the links below to read, listen, or save them for later. Follow your curiosity — and see what new insights show up along the way.
🎧 Podcast — Jay Shetty Podcast: Scott Galloway often reminds people that true financial security comes from resilience — not luck, not timing. His philosophy is simple: spend less than you make, invest consistently, build skills that increase your earning power, and design a life where you’re not constantly one bad break away from crisis. This link takes you to 25:02 of the podcast, the whole episode is 1 hr 30 min.
🎧 Podcast — Diary of a CEO: Ramit Sethi talks about designing a “Rich Life” based on what truly matters to you—not what society tells you should matter. He challenges the guilt and shame many of us feel around spending and encourages intentional choices that align with our values. This link takes you to 2:05 of the podcast, the whole episode is 1 hr 50 min.
📖 Book — The Psychology of Money explores how our beliefs, emotions, and personal history shape the way we handle money. Morgan Housel uses short, engaging stories to show that financial success isn’t about math — it’s about behavior. A great read if you’re curious about why you make the money choices you do. (6–8 hr read / ongoing reflection).
Entry Points
When you’ve tried to think your way through something but nothing seems to stick.
Private sessions help you uncover the root cause behind what’s holding you back.
Using the guided approach of Rapid Transformational Therapy® (RTT), Conversational Tranceformation™, and Mental Fitness Coaching, we work beneath the surface challenge to create meaningful emotional and behavioral change — helping you step into deep, lasting transformation.
Workshops: Tools for the Mind is a monthly 60-minute, in-person coaching workshops explore how your mind works to create harmony between thought, emotion, and body. You’ll deepen self-understanding, strengthen emotional awareness, and leave with clarity you can feel right away. Come for one topic or return each month to keep expanding your toolkit for mindful living.
| December 2025 | No workshop, pausing for the holiday season |
| January 2026 | Habit Shift: Small Steps, Real Change |
| February 2026 | Confidence from the Inside Out |
Wellness Walks: Step outside and reconnect.
These guided Walks help you slow down, engage with the land, and explore how the mind works in nature. Each walk includes a 15-minute pause for deep listening to support integration and reflection.
Available for individuals or groups from February through November, just outside Kimberley, BC on 270 acres of private land.
Understanding Anxiety Online Coaching (Coming 2026)
💻 Live online
Anxiety doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It means your system is working hard to keep you safe—sometimes too hard.
This course helps you understand what anxiety really is, why it shows up, and how to calm your mind and body using tools that work.
Over four weeks, you’ll build awareness, emotional regulation, and the confidence to respond differently—one small shift at a time.
✨ Science-backed strategies
✨ Weekly coaching sessions via Google Meet
✨ Practical tools you’ll actually use
Join from anywhere and learn to train your mind like a muscle. 💪💜
🕓 1 hour weekly for 4 weeks
📅 Starts: Early 2026
Join the interest list for updates.
The Elevated Day Journal
This is more than a planner — it’s a guided diary for habit-stacking, emotional clarity, nervous system support, with intentional living.
✨ Now available in printable digital format on Etsy for $9.95CA
Tracks & Courses on Insight Timer
If you enjoy learning through audio, you’ll find guided practices that help you feel calmer, clearer, and more connected to yourself.
My work on Insight Timer includes mental rehearsals, visualizations, and practical tools designed to support emotional awareness, stress relief, and everyday mental fitness.
Download the #1 Free Meditation app to get started.
