Reflections & Real Life

Reflections & Real Life

There Is Value in Friction

Posted on by lanna

Friction, Perfectionism, and the Algebra of Excellence

I was listening to a conversation on The Diary of a CEO where Scott Galloway spoke about storytelling, excellence, and something that caught my attention immediately:

There is value in friction.

The biggest rewards often come from the hardest challenges.
Relationships.
Community.
Connection.
Meaningful work.

And as I listened, I realized this is where perfectionism quietly complicates everything.

Because perfectionism does not hate excellence.
It fears friction.

Check out the DOAC episode

Start With the Feeling

Before writing a story, Galloway asked a simple question:

What do you want someone to feel?

Not what do you want them to know.
Not what do you want them to agree with.

What do you want them to feel?

And that question applies far beyond storytelling.

If you are someone who lives inside perfectionism, you might notice that most of your days are built around performance. Getting it right. Anticipating needs. Staying prepared. Being competent.

But underneath that, there is often a quieter question:

When do I feel seen?
When do I feel enough without performing?

Perfectionism organizes around control.
Excellence organizes around intention.

The difference begins with emotion.

We rarely remember information.
We remember how something made us feel.

And many high-functioning, capable adults are not looking for more information.
They are looking for relief.
Clarity.
Ground under their feet.

Define Your Lane Instead of Winning Everywhere

One idea that stood out was this: aim to be in the top 1% — but define your lane clearly.

Not the top 1% of everything.
The top 1% of something specific.

Perfectionism resists this.

It says:
Be excellent everywhere.
Be indispensable in every room.
Do not narrow yourself.
Do not risk being “just” one thing.

You might recognize this pattern.
Overcommitting.
Overpreparing.
Overextending.

Trying to win in rooms that were never yours to lead.

Excellence is quieter.
It asks for depth, not breadth.

For me, my lane looks like this:
Translating behavior into insight.
Creating tools and quizzes that help people understand themselves.
Taking psychology and making it practical.

Not abstract.
Not overwhelming.
Not performative.

Just useful.

The difference between proficient and exceptional is rarely talent.
It is small daily refinement.
Clarity.
Feedback.
Practice.

Perfectionism demands flawless output.
Excellence demands consistent effort.

Perfectionism fears being seen mid-growth.
Excellence expects it.

If a human can do something, other humans can learn elements of it with practice. Not to replicate the person, but to study the patterns.

That is personal responsibility.
And it is much steadier than perfectionism.

The Algebra of Storytelling and the Myth of “More”

There was a phrase that stayed with me: the algebra of storytelling.

A compelling voice.
Emotion.
White space.
Scarcity.
Domain expertise.
Connection.

Notice what is missing.

Overload.

Perfectionism loves more.
More detail.
More proof.
More credentials.
More explanation.

It fills space to avoid criticism.

But white space is confidence.
Saying less, clearly, is maturity.

And connection matters.

Family.
Community.
Belonging.
Maternal care.
Cultural roots.

Stories endure because they tether to relationship.

So does healing.

So does growth.

You do not need to impress to matter.
You need to connect.

Friction Is the Point

This is where it all lands for me.

Friction is not a flaw in the system.
It is the system.

The friction of saying no.
The friction of disappointing someone.
The friction of not being universally liked.
The friction of admitting you were wrong.
The friction of slowing down.

Perfectionism avoids friction because friction feels unsafe.

But avoided friction becomes anxiety.
Unspoken friction becomes resentment.
Internal friction becomes self-criticism.

When you learn to stay with it — without attacking yourself — something shifts.

You build tolerance.
You build resilience.
You build identity that is not dependent on performance.

The biggest rewards do not come from polished surfaces.
They come from relational depth.
From community.
From contribution.
From meaningful effort.

I consider myself an average explorer.

Not extraordinary.
Curious.

If something works for one human, there are patterns inside it worth studying.

Not to copy.
To learn.

Excellence is not mystical.
It is iterative.

It is friction plus reflection plus adjustment over time.

Connect with us to schedule your 75-minute Foundations call and start your path to transformation.

BOOK NOW

Recommended Reading for Mental Fitness, Habits & Emotional Well-Being

Posted on by lanna

Over the years, I’ve read a lot of books across psychology, neuroscience, habits, parenting, and personal growth. Some were interesting. Some were insightful. And some genuinely changed how I understand myself and the people I work with.

This page isn’t about reading more.
It’s about reading what actually helps, when you need it.

I’ve organized these recommendations by topic so you can find the right book for where you are right now. Within each section, titles are listed alphabetically to keep things simple. I’ll continue adding to this list as I come across resources that feel genuinely useful, practical, and grounded.

How to Use This Reading List

Skim the categories

  • Notice which section pulls at you
  • Start with one book that feels relevant to your current season

Growth doesn’t happen by consuming more information. It happens by understanding yourself a little better and applying what fits.

Where Should I Start?

If you’re not sure where to begin, use this list to jump directly to the section that best matches what’s coming up for you.


Each section includes its own “Start Here” recommendation to help you choose a first book once you arrive.

💛 Anxiety, Stress & Emotional Regulation

🎯 Confidence, Self-Trust & Boundaries

🧠 Habits, Identity & Behavior Change

🌱 Meaning, Values & Living Well

🌿 Mind–Body, Healing & Physical Well-Being

❤️ Relationships, Attachment & Family Systems

🧠 Understanding the Brain & Human Behavior

💛 Anxiety, Stress & Emotional Regulation

Anxiety isn’t a personal failure. It’s a protective response that becomes overwhelming when the nervous system is under chronic strain, uncertainty, or pressure.

This section focuses on understanding how stress, emotions, and the body interact, and offers grounded tools for regulation rather than suppression. These books support learning how to notice what’s happening internally, respond with more skill, and build emotional resilience over time.

Start with the one that feels most relevant to your current experience or use the guide below to narrow it down.

Where to Start

  • If emotions feel confusing or overwhelming: Atlas of the Heart
  • If anxiety shows up as overthinking: Stop Overthinking
  • If stress is affecting your body or health: When the Body Says No
  • If you want practical regulation tools: Whole Brain Living or Just Breathe
  • If you want a broader understanding of modern stress: The Myth of Normal

Atlas of the Heart

Gives language to emotions so people can understand what they’re actually feeling instead of judging it.
👉 https://amzn.to/3YLad7u

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy

An accessible introduction to CBT tools for understanding thought patterns and emotional responses.
👉 https://amzn.to/4b73a0i

Rising Strong

A guide to resilience, emotional processing, and learning from failure.
👉 https://amzn.to/49NxRVW

Stop Overthinking

Simple strategies to quiet mental loops and reduce anxiety.
👉 https://amzn.to/4jLFh0l

The Body Keeps the Score

Foundational for understanding trauma and how it lives in the body.
👉 https://amzn.to/3YLTZuO

The Myth of Normal

Challenges what we accept as “normal” in a stressed, disconnected culture.
👉 https://amzn.to/4bEEDQc

The Pain Management Workbook

Evidence-based tools for understanding and managing chronic pain through a biopsychosocial lens.
👉 https://amzn.to/4a03QTU

Unstressable

A logical, compassionate approach to understanding stress and reducing unnecessary suffering.
👉 https://amzn.to/460DMpj

When the Body Says No

Explores how chronic stress and suppressed emotion affect physical health.
👉 https://amzn.to/3NpJkDA

Whole Brain Living

A practical framework for recognizing and integrating emotional states.
👉 https://amzn.to/4b74Kiy

Breath

Explains why breath is foundational to nervous system regulation and emotional stability.
👉 https://amzn.to/4pWni9a

Just Breathe

An entry point into breathwork for calming the nervous system.
👉 https://amzn.to/4qwotNw

The Wim Hof Method

A practical guide to breathwork, cold exposure, and building resilience.
👉 https://amzn.to/49sahPz

🎯 Confidence, Self-Trust & Boundaries

Confidence isn’t about being louder, tougher, or more certain. It’s about having a stable inner ground the ability to trust yourself, stay connected to your values, and respond rather than react.

This section focuses on belief systems, identity, self-talk, and boundaries. The books here explore how confidence is shaped over time and how it can be rebuilt gently, practically, and sustainably. You strengthen confidence by reconnecting with who you already are and what it is that you want.

Start with the one that feels most relevant to your current experience or use the guide below to narrow it down.

Where to Start

  • If self-worth feels conditional or fragile: I Am Enough
  • If confidence feels performative or inconsistent: Strong Ground
  • If perfectionism or self-criticism is holding you back: The Gifts of Imperfection
  • If you want a simple, daily way to rebuild self-trust: The High 5 Habit
  • If boundaries feel hard or you’re carrying too much responsibility: The Let Them Theory

I Am Enough

Foundational belief work around worthiness and self-acceptance.
👉 https://amzn.to/49sy0z1

Pursue the Best You

Explores identity, belief, and values-based performance rather than outcome obsession.
👉 https://amzn.to/4a1Ekxy

Strong Ground

Reframes confidence as steadiness and inner security rather than bravado.
👉 https://amzn.to/4qwM6Wj

Success for Life

Focuses on mindset and belief change as the foundation for success.
👉 https://amzn.to/4sH1kcB

Tell Yourself a Better Lie

Explores how internal narratives shape identity and outcomes.
👉 https://amzn.to/4qsz9MX

The Gifts of Imperfection

Encourages self-acceptance, authenticity, and letting go of perfectionism.
👉 https://amzn.to/4r0XauG

The High 5 Habit

Builds self-trust through a simple, embodied daily practice.
👉 https://amzn.to/4jOkcT8

The Let Them Theory

A simple mindset shift for releasing control and strengthening boundaries.
👉 https://amzn.to/3NxpTsn

Ultimate Confidence

Focuses on rewiring unconscious beliefs that undermine confidence.
👉 https://amzn.to/4sL9Wiz

Why Woo‑Woo Works

Bridges intuition and science in a grounded, evidence-based way.
👉 https://amzn.to/49rLzyK

🧠 Habits, Identity & Behavior Change

Change isn’t about willpower or motivation. It’s about understanding how habits form, how identity shapes behavior, and how small, repeatable actions create momentum over time.

This section focuses on building sustainable patterns by working with the brain rather than against it. The books here explore attention, learning, emotional impulses, and values-based action so change feels more realistic and less exhausting.

Start with the one that feels most relevant to your current experience — or use the guide below to narrow it down.

Where to Start

  • If emotions or impulses derail your behavior: A Path Through the Jungle
  • If you want practical, identity-based habit change: Atomic Habits
  • If focus and distraction are the main challenge: Indistractable
  • If you want clarity around purpose and direction: Find Your Why
  • If you want to strengthen learning, memory, or mental performance: Limitless

A Path Through the Jungle

A practical guide to managing emotions, impulses, and behavior under pressure.
👉 https://amzn.to/4jLKCVB

Atomic Habits

Practical, identity-based habit change that works without relying on motivation or willpower.
👉 https://amzn.to/45Qharz

Find Your Why

A practical guide to clarifying purpose so decisions and actions feel more aligned.
👉 https://amzn.to/4a2ltTa

Limitless

Expands beliefs around learning, memory, and cognitive potential.
👉 https://amzn.to/3LQmncc

My Hidden Chimp

A relatable way for children to understand emotional reactions and internal conflict.
👉 https://amzn.to/4qsCY4R

The Chimp Paradox

A practical framework for managing emotional impulses under pressure.
👉 https://amzn.to/4qXBpf3

The Lean Startup

Teaches adaptive thinking, experimentation, and learning through action.
👉 https://amzn.to/4quXfH7

Think Again

Encourages flexibility, curiosity, and the ability to update beliefs.
👉 https://amzn.to/4qS9sW6

Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?

Accessible mental health tools for everyday emotional challenges.
👉 https://amzn.to/4t4EY5h

Indistractable

Helps people reclaim attention by understanding emotional triggers behind distraction.
👉 https://amzn.to/3ZlgHtK

🌱 Meaning, Values & Living Well

This section is for moments when the question isn’t “How do I fix this?” but rather “How do I want to live?”

The books here explore purpose, values, perspective, leadership, community, and long-term fulfillment. They’re less about solving a specific problem and more about stepping back, gaining clarity, and making choices that feel aligned over time.

Start with the one that feels most relevant to where you are right now — or use the guide below to narrow it down.

Where to Start

  • If you’re questioning meaning or identity: A New Earth
  • If you want practical guidance on building a meaningful life: Build the Life You Want
  • If purpose feels unclear: Start with Why
  • If you’re interested in longevity and lifestyle alignment: The Blue Zones
  • If you want a calm, reflective mindset approach: Think Like a Monk

A New Earth

Helpful for people ready to step back from ego-driven thinking and cultivate presence and awareness.
👉 https://amzn.to/45kl9wq

Build the Life You Want

A grounded blend of happiness research and real-life strategies for building meaning over time.
👉 https://amzn.to/3YLu2eM

Leaders Eat Last

Shows how trust, safety, and leadership shape performance and wellbeing.
👉 https://amzn.to/4a02poC

Start with Why

Clarifies how purpose influences motivation and fulfillment.
👉 https://amzn.to/45Qi2MR

The Blue Zones

Shows how community, lifestyle, and purpose influence longevity.
👉 https://amzn.to/4jSgtUG

The Light We Carry

A reflective exploration of resilience, hope, and inner strength.
👉 https://amzn.to/4b1VlZC

Think Like a Monk

A practical approach to training the mind for calm, clarity, and purpose.
👉 https://amzn.to/4b2D3HL

Main Street Millionaire

A grounded look at building financial independence outside hype-driven business models.
👉 https://amzn.to/4r5PKX3

🌿 Mind–Body, Healing & Physical Well-Being

This section is for times when physical health, energy, or symptoms feel closely tied to stress, emotions, beliefs, or lifestyle. Rather than separating the body and mind, these books explore how they work together shaping resilience, healing, and long-term wellbeing.

The focus here isn’t perfection or optimization. It’s understanding your body with more curiosity, compassion, and agency, and making changes that are sustainable over time.

Start with the one that feels most relevant to what your body is asking for right now — or use the guide below to narrow it down.

Where to Start

  • If stress or emotions are affecting your physical health: When the Body Says No
  • If you want to understand metabolism and energy regulation: The Obesity Code
  • If you’re curious about longevity and healthspan: Outlive
  • If nutrition feels confusing or overwhelming: Food for Life
  • If belief, stress, and healing feel connected: The Mindful Body

Trying to Get Pregnant and Succeeding

Belief-based support for fertility and reproductive challenges.
👉 https://amzn.to/49DoQyA

Fast Like a Girl

Useful for understanding fasting through a female hormonal lens rather than a one-size-fits-all model.
👉 https://amzn.to/3NrncZC

The Complete Guide to Fasting

A physiology-based guide to fasting and metabolic health.
👉 https://amzn.to/3YHrwGt

The Menopause Reset

Offers insight into hormonal health during midlife transitions.
👉 https://amzn.to/4sNTcXK

The Obesity Code

Reframes weight and metabolism through hormones rather than calories.
👉 https://amzn.to/4jLDLeP

Brain Energy

Connects mental health and metabolic health in a way that reframes anxiety, mood, and resilience.
👉 https://amzn.to/4sTUBML

Eat to Beat Disease

Empowering nutrition science that connects food choices to immune and long-term health.
👉 https://amzn.to/4pJp25a

Food for Life

Explains how gut health, diversity of foods, and lifestyle shape long-term wellbeing.
👉 https://amzn.to/45lXcoy

Heal Your Body

Introduces the idea that emotional patterns can influence physical symptoms.
👉 https://amzn.to/3LSucht

How Your Mind Can Heal Your Body

Explores the science behind belief, stress, and the mind–body connection.
👉 https://amzn.to/45gZUvq

Is Your Body Trying to Tell You Something?

Encourages curiosity about physical symptoms instead of fear or suppression.
👉 https://amzn.to/4qZpLjO

Outlive

Encourages proactive thinking about healthspan, not just lifespan.
👉 https://amzn.to/3NrqgoA

The Body

An engaging, accessible overview of how the human body works.
👉 https://amzn.to/4bCXtHo

The Comfort Crisis

Challenges the idea that comfort equals wellbeing and explores resilience through challenge.
👉 https://amzn.to/4b7de9A

The Emotion Code

Explores emotional energy and its influence on physical and emotional wellbeing.
👉 https://amzn.to/3NQlgK4

The Mindful Body

Explores how mindset, awareness, and perception influence physical health and wellbeing.
👉 https://amzn.to/3ZgVzVA

The Power Is Within You

Encourages self-responsibility, belief change, and inner agency.
👉 https://amzn.to/3YMci2P

You Can Heal Your Life

Foundational belief work linking self-talk and wellbeing.
👉 https://amzn.to/49Evi8n

Young Forever

Explores longevity through functional medicine and lifestyle choices.
👉 https://amzn.to/3NpGYVe

❤️ Relationships, Attachment & Family Systems

Relationship patterns don’t begin in adulthood they develop over time through early attachment, family dynamics, and experiences of safety, repair, and connection.

This section explores how relationships function across the lifespan, from parenting and childhood development to adult partnerships and family-of-origin healing. The books here focus on emotional regulation, communication, boundaries, and understanding why certain relational patterns repeat and how they can change.

Start with the one that feels most relevant to your current relationships or use the guide below to narrow it down.

Where to Start

  • If parenting or supporting children feels emotionally demanding: Good Inside
  • If childhood experiences are affecting adult relationships: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents
  • If conflict keeps repeating in close relationships: Fight Right
  • If connection feels strained or distant with a partner: Eight Dates
  • If you want research-backed relationship tools: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

A Child Is Born

A photographic exploration of human development before and after birth.
👉 https://amzn.to/49N0wdD

Emotional Regulation for Parents

Helps parents regulate themselves first so children can feel safe and supported.
👉 https://amzn.to/4sLCisT

Good Inside

A compassionate, regulation-first parenting approach focused on connection over control.
👉 https://amzn.to/4jMBVdn

The Anxious Generation

A look at rising anxiety in youth and the impact of modern culture and technology.
👉 https://amzn.to/49GElFV

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents

Validating and clarifying for anyone who grew up feeling unseen, responsible, or emotionally alone.
👉 https://amzn.to/4jK85Xf

Eight Dates

Structured, meaningful conversations that strengthen connection and long-term relationships.
👉 https://amzn.to/4qRDtFi

Fight Right

Teaches how to argue in ways that build trust instead of damaging connection.
👉 https://amzn.to/45iAnlC

Money for Couples

A clear, honest conversation about money, values, and shared goals in relationships.
👉 https://amzn.to/4b89zrV

Recovering from Emotionally Immature Parents

Provides tools for healing, boundaries, and emotional autonomy.
👉 https://amzn.to/3Zh0llV

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

Research-based practices for sustaining healthy relationships.
👉 https://amzn.to/45Nrl02

🧠 Understanding the Brain & Human Behavior

This section is about zooming out to understand why humans think, feel, and behave the way they do. Rather than focusing on fixing a single issue, these books offer broader context how culture, biology, trauma, belief, and environment shape our decisions, attention, relationships, and sense of self.

If you’re curious about patterns (your own or society’s), this section helps make behavior more understandable and less personal.

Start with the one that feels most relevant to your curiosity right now or use the guide below to narrow it down.

Where to Start

  • If you want big-picture context on human behavior: Sapiens
  • If focus and attention feel harder than they used to: Stolen Focus
  • If behavior is best understood through trauma and development: What Happened to You?
  • If you’re interested in motivation and influence: The Influential Mind
  • If you’re exploring identity and neurodiversity: Unmasking Autism

21 Lessons for the 21st Century

A thoughtful lens on modern life, uncertainty, and decision-making in a rapidly changing world.
👉 https://amzn.to/4a1uiMY

Give and Take

Reframes success through contribution, reciprocity, and healthy relational dynamics.
👉 https://amzn.to/3LTnbwS

Lost Connections

Explores depression and disconnection through social, cultural, and relational lenses.
👉 https://amzn.to/49saIcF

Sapiens

Offers big-picture context for understanding human behavior and culture.
👉 https://amzn.to/4sRw5Mc

Stolen Focus

Explains why focus is harder today and what actually helps reclaim it.
👉 https://amzn.to/4qufEnx

The Influential Mind

Explains how optimism, belief, and motivation influence behavior.
👉 https://amzn.to/45hjNm2

The Nature of Personal Reality

Explores how beliefs and perception shape lived experience.
👉 https://amzn.to/4sNTAWc

Unmasking Autism

Validates neurodivergent experiences and identity.
👉 https://amzn.to/3ZoCAs4

What Happened to You?

Reframes behavior through trauma-informed understanding.
👉 https://amzn.to/4qRP6vW

A Quick Note on Affiliate Links

The links on this page are Amazon affiliate links. That means if you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you. I only recommend books I genuinely believe are worth your time and attention.

Turning Insight Into Practice

Posted on by lanna

A Place to Practice

If you’ve ever left a session, workshop, or meaningful conversation feeling clear only to have life quickly pull you back into old patterns you’re not alone.

Insight alone doesn’t create change.
Practice does.

Most people don’t need more information. They need a way to integrate what they already know a place to slow down, regulate their nervous system, and reinforce new patterns in real time.

That’s where the Insight Timer app comes in.

It offers a simple, accessible way to practice mental fitness in everyday life. Whether you have five minutes or twenty, it gives you a place to pause, reconnect, and work with your mind intentionally without pressure or perfection.

This matters because meaningful change doesn’t happen only in big moments. It happens in small, repeated check-ins with yourself.

Why This Matters for Your Mental Fitness

If you’re doing inner work whether through therapy, coaching, self-reflection, or curiosity having a consistent practice space helps turn insight into embodiment.

Insight Timer supports this by offering:

  • Short, repeatable practices you can return to
  • Tools for emotional regulation and nervous system support
  • Guided mental rehearsals to help you respond differently in real life
  • A calm alternative to scrolling or numbing out

Because doing internal work is brave.


Looking at patterns, understanding triggers, and building emotional awareness takes heart. But having a practice space—somewhere where showing up transforms your relationship with your mind and body—makes that journey gentler.

You can show up to reconnect with yourself through meditation, breathwork, mental rehearsals, journaling prompts, and sleep tools.

Small windows of reflection create meaningful momentum.

Mental Rehearsals = New Pattern

One of the core tools I share on Insight Timer is mental rehearsal and if you’re new to the concept, it’s worth understanding why it’s such a powerful addition to your mental fitness toolkit.

Mental rehearsal is the practice of intentionally imagining yourself responding differently before or after real-life situations. Athletes have used this technique for decades to improve and embody their performance, but it’s just as effective for everyday life.

When you mentally rehearse, you’re not “thinking positive.”
You’re helping your brain and nervous system experience a new pattern one that feels safer, steadier, and more supportive than old automatic reactions.

Your brain doesn’t fully distinguish between what is vividly imagined and what is physically experienced. That means rehearsal becomes practice. And practice builds familiarity. And familiarity creates change.

What is Embodiment?

Insight lives in the mind.
Change lives in the body.

You can understand something deeply and still find yourself reacting the same way under stress. That is not failure. It is biology. When pressure shows up, your nervous system defaults to what feels familiar, not what you have logically decided.

Embodiment is what bridges that gap.

Embodiment means your body has experienced a new response, not just thought about it. It is the difference between knowing how to ride a bike and actually staying upright when you start pedaling.

When something is embodied:
• Your body recognizes it as familiar
• Your nervous system feels safer accessing it
• You are more likely to respond that way in real moments

This is why insight alone is often not enough.

What Happens Without Embodiment

Without embodiment, new insights stay intellectual. Old patterns keep running automatically. Stress overrides intention. Change feels fragile or inconsistent.

This can be frustrating, especially for thoughtful, self-aware people who know better but still feel stuck.

Nothing is wrong with you.
Your system just has not practiced the new pattern yet.

How Embodiment Is Built

Embodiment is built through repetition in a regulated state.

This is where tools like mental rehearsal, breathwork, and guided practices matter. They give your nervous system a chance to experience calm before a difficult moment, confidence in your body, and a pause instead of a reaction.

Over time, these repeated experiences become stored as available options.

When life gets messy, which it always does, you are more likely to access what you have embodied rather than what you have only understood.

Why This Matters in Everyday Life

Embodiment allows you to stay grounded during difficult conversations, respond instead of react, follow through on boundaries, and trust yourself under pressure.

It is how insight turns into lived change.

That is why practice matters. Not to force transformation, but to help your system learn what safety, steadiness, and choice actually feel like.

Insight Timer Is a Great Place to Practice

What makes Insight Timer so supportive is that it gives you accessible, repeatable practice. You don’t need an hour. You don’t need perfect conditions. You just need a few minutes and a willingness to show up.

Mental rehearsals on the app allow you to:

  • Practice between sessions
  • Reinforce new patterns gently
  • Build consistency without pressure
  • Return to yourself when life feels noisy

This is especially valuable if you want a way to support your learning, in real time, in real life.

Mental fitness isn’t built in big moments alone.
It’s built through small, intentional repetitions.

And mental rehearsal gives you a way to practice those repetitions—right where you are.

Access Free Mental Rehearsals

Mental rehearsals are especially helpful if you:

  • Feel stuck in reactive patterns
  • Want to respond instead of react
  • Struggle with anxiety, overthinking, or emotional overwhelm
  • Are working on new habits or boundaries
  • Want to integrate insights from therapy or coaching into daily life

Through guided mental rehearsal, you can gently train your system to:

  • Slow down stress responses
  • Build emotional regulation
  • Strengthen self-trust
  • Rehearse new choices before real moments arise

It’s one thing to understand something intellectually.
It’s another thing to feel it in your body and nervous system.

That’s where mental rehearsal bridges the gap.

Free Mental Rehearsals

Connect with us to schedule your 75-minute Foundations call and start your path to transformation.

BOOK NOW

December 2025 – Money

Posted on by lanna

The Psychology of Spending

🧠 Why We Go Into Debt (It’s Not As Simple As “Bad Choices”)

Most people assume debt is a math problem. In reality, it’s far more emotional than logical — and often rooted in decisions made for today, not for who we’ll be tomorrow.

Here are a few patterns many of us experience, especially at Holiday times of the year:

1. Emotional Spending

Sometimes we spend to feel better, calmer, or in control — even if that feeling only lasts a moment. It’s not about the item; it’s about soothing something inside us.

2. Wanting to Belong or Show Love

Gifts, dinners, events… it’s easy to slip into the belief that spending equals caring. For some, giving more than they can comfortably afford comes from a deep desire to connect or be accepted.

3. Avoidance & Anxiety

When money feels overwhelming, many people simply look away — avoiding bank accounts, balances, or bills. Avoidance gives temporary relief, but often leads to long-term stress.

4. “Money Martyrdom”

This shows up when you consistently put others’ needs ahead of your own — buying for everyone else, easing others’ financial discomfort, or using money to manage relationships.

None of these patterns mean anything negative about you. They’re simply information — clues that help you understand what’s been driving your behaviour around money.

Learning to recognize these patterns is really about becoming familiar with your Future Self. When you understand what’s underneath your habits, you’re better able to make choices today that support the version of you who comes next — so when tomorrow arrives, you’ve already got your own back.

These behaviours aren’t random. They’re shaped by stories, beliefs, and emotional shortcuts that formed long before money felt like a choice.

🔍 The Habits Underneath

Behind every money habit is a belief — usually one we didn’t consciously choose.
They often sound like quiet, familiar thoughts:

  • “I have to spend to show I care.”
  • “It’s embarrassing to talk about money.”
  • “I’ll never have enough.”
  • “I’m just not good with money.”

Most of these beliefs formed early, long before we had our own bank accounts or real choices. They were shaped by what we observed, what felt safe, and what helped us belong at the time.

When those beliefs show up now, especially in emotionally charged moments like holidays, they often steer decisions toward relief today instead of well-being tomorrow.

This is where your relationship with your Future Self becomes meaningful.


When you begin to recognize why these habits show up — not to judge them, but to understand them — you create a quiet bridge between who you are now and who you’re becoming. That bridge makes it easier to make choices that feel supportive over time, not just soothing in the moment.

That’s where awareness starts — and where real possibility opens up and new questions become possible.

Elevated Moment

When we understand our patterns, we’re better positioned to design a life our Future Self will thank us for.

For this, I turn to Ramit Sethi’s work, he surprised and delighted me with the way he thinks about money.

🌱Ramit Sethi’s Philosophy of a Rich Life (It’s not about being rich — it’s about being intentional.)

Ramit Sethi, author of I Will Teach You to Be Rich, has a philosophy that surprises many people:


“A Rich Life isn’t about having a huge bank account. It’s about living a life that feels meaningful, expansive, and aligned with what matters to you.“

When we look at this through the lens of the Future Self, something shifts.


Instead of reacting to the moment, we begin asking:

What kind of life am I building for the version of me who comes next?

One way to explore that question is by noticing how you currently relate to money.

Having language for our patterns is the most compassionate place to begin.

The Money Psychology Self-Assessment Quiz helps you identify your patterns around spending, saving, avoiding, or giving, especially during emotional or stressful moments. These patterns don’t define you, but they do influence the future you’re creating.

The quiz is simply a pause — a chance to ask:

Are my current money habits supporting the life my Future Self is stepping into?

Money Psychology Self Awareness QuizDownload

Want more?
Click link for Further Explorations.

Elevated Insight

✨ What a “Rich Life” Really Means

According to Sethi, a Rich Life is:

  • Deeply personal — you choose what matters
  • Values-based — your spending reflects what you truly care about
  • Guilt-free — you spend lavishly on what you love, and cut ruthlessly on what you don’t
  • Clear and intentional — your money becomes a tool for designing the life you want

It’s the opposite of generic financial advice like “stop buying lattes” or “just budget harder.”

This is where the Future Self becomes especially helpful. By exploring what kind of life you’re building — and who you’re building it for, reflection invites you to understand where the habits came from.

When we step back and look at money through this lens, we’re no longer asking “What should I be doing?”

We’re asking something much more meaningful.

The Money Psychology Reflection Worksheet is designed for a deeper dive. It helps you slow down and explore the beliefs, experiences, and emotional patterns that shape your relationship with money — and how those patterns influence the future you’re building.

What does a fulfilling, meaningful life actually look like for the person I’m becoming?

When money is guided by awareness and intention, it often shifts from a source of stress into a source of possibility.

Money Psychology Reflection WorksheetDownload

Want more?
Click link for Further Explorations.

Elevated Awareness

💡 The Core of Ramit’s Philosophy through the lens of your Future Self

Sethi often says:

“You should spend extravagantly on the things you love — and cut costs mercilessly on the things you don’t.”

When we bring the Future Self into this idea, it becomes less about rules and more about relationship.

When you truly know your Future Self — when you feel connected to them and clear about what they want — it’s easier to make grounded choices. You’re not denying yourself joy; you’re simply being thoughtful.

Just like with a good friend, when you care about their long-term wellbeing, you’re also mindful of what actually supports them.

Clarity creates trust.
And trust reduces self-sabotage.

For many people who grew up with guilt around spending, fear of running out, or the belief that joy must be earned, this perspective is deeply freeing.

A Rich Life, in this sense, gently reminds us:

  • You’re allowed to experience joy
  • You’re allowed to choose what matters
  • You’re allowed to build a life that feels nourishing, steady, and supportive

When money choices come from friendship with your Future Self, they tend to feel calmer — and far more aligned with building a life that feels ‘Rich’.

Further Explorations

Because curiosity deepens awareness.

Each month, I share a few favourite resources for anyone who wants to dive a little deeper — articles, podcasts, books, and research that build on what we’ve been exploring together around the mind, body, and conscious living.

Just click the links below to read, listen, or save them for later. Follow your curiosity — and see what new insights show up along the way.

🎧 Podcast — Jay Shetty Podcast: Scott Galloway often reminds people that true financial security comes from resilience — not luck, not timing. His philosophy is simple: spend less than you make, invest consistently, build skills that increase your earning power, and design a life where you’re not constantly one bad break away from crisis. This link takes you to 25:02 of the podcast, the whole episode is 1 hr 30 min.

Learn More

🎧 Podcast — Diary of a CEO: Ramit Sethi talks about designing a “Rich Life” based on what truly matters to you—not what society tells you should matter. He challenges the guilt and shame many of us feel around spending and encourages intentional choices that align with our values. This link takes you to 2:05 of the podcast, the whole episode is 1 hr 50 min.

Learn More

📖 Book — The Psychology of Money explores how our beliefs, emotions, and personal history shape the way we handle money. Morgan Housel uses short, engaging stories to show that financial success isn’t about math — it’s about behavior. A great read if you’re curious about why you make the money choices you do. (6–8 hr read / ongoing reflection).

Learn More

Entry Points

When you’ve tried to think your way through something but nothing seems to stick.

Private sessions help you uncover the root cause behind what’s holding you back.

Using the guided approach of Rapid Transformational Therapy® (RTT), Conversational Tranceformation™, and Mental Fitness Coaching, we work beneath the surface challenge to create meaningful emotional and behavioral change — helping you step into deep, lasting transformation.

Foundations Call

Workshops: Tools for the Mind is a monthly 60-minute, in-person coaching workshops explore how your mind works to create harmony between thought, emotion, and body. You’ll deepen self-understanding, strengthen emotional awareness, and leave with clarity you can feel right away. Come for one topic or return each month to keep expanding your toolkit for mindful living.

December 2025No workshop, pausing for the holiday season
January 2026Habit Shift: Small Steps, Real Change
February 2026 Confidence from the Inside Out
Book at Inner-Roar

Wellness Walks: Step outside and reconnect.

These guided Walks help you slow down, engage with the land, and explore how the mind works in nature. Each walk includes a 15-minute pause for deep listening to support integration and reflection.

Available for individuals or groups from February through November, just outside Kimberley, BC on 270 acres of private land.

By Appointment

Understanding Anxiety Online Coaching (Coming 2026)

💻 Live online

Anxiety doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It means your system is working hard to keep you safe—sometimes too hard.

This course helps you understand what anxiety really is, why it shows up, and how to calm your mind and body using tools that work.

Over four weeks, you’ll build awareness, emotional regulation, and the confidence to respond differently—one small shift at a time.

✨ Science-backed strategies
✨ Weekly coaching sessions via Google Meet
✨ Practical tools you’ll actually use

Join from anywhere and learn to train your mind like a muscle. 💪💜

🕓 1 hour weekly for 4 weeks

📅 Starts: Early 2026

Join the interest list for updates.

Join Interest List

The Elevated Day Journal

This is more than a planner — it’s a guided diary for habit-stacking, emotional clarity, nervous system support, with intentional living.

✨ Now available in printable digital format on Etsy for $9.95CA

Buy Now

Tracks & Courses on Insight Timer

If you enjoy learning through audio, you’ll find guided practices that help you feel calmer, clearer, and more connected to yourself.

My work on Insight Timer includes mental rehearsals, visualizations, and practical tools designed to support emotional awareness, stress relief, and everyday mental fitness.

Download the #1 Free Meditation app to get started.

Insight Timer

Connect to schedule your 75-minute Foundations call and start your path to transformation.

BOOK NOW

November 2025 – Being

Posted on by lsmith

Many Shades of Strength

November brings Movember — a global movement where men grow mustaches to raise awareness for men’s health, including mental well-being, suicide prevention, prostate cancer, and testicular cancer.

It’s an invitation to look beyond appearances and talk about what strength really means — emotionally, mentally, and socially.

This month, I found myself reflecting on a conversation I listened to with Dr. Robert Waldinger, director of The Harvard Study of Adult Development — the world’s longest-running study on happiness and longevity. His biggest takeaway?


“Good relationships keep us healthier and happier. Period.”

For many men and women, the challenge isn’t
knowing this truth — it’s living it.

Dr. Waldinger points out that friendships are one of the strongest predictors of long life, yet so many of men lose touch with close friends as life responsibilities grow.


Then I came across a brilliant metaphor from Jason Wilson, shared on The Mel Robbins Podcast, that captures the emotional gap beautifully:

“Women often use all 64 crayons — every shade of emotion and nuance. Men have the
same box, but they’ve only been encouraged to use eight… and most only feel safe using four.”

“It’s not that men don’t have the full spectrum. They do. But culture has often limited
the colours they feel allowed to show.”

To honour the men in my life — my father, husband, sons, and brother-in-law — I’m inviting a few more crayons into play.

That means reaching for a shade of listening to understand, quiet strength and compassion I haven’t fully explored yet.

When we dare to colour with new shades, we give everyone around us permission to do the same.

Elevated Moment

“The opposite of loneliness isn’t
company — it’s connection.”
— Dr. Robert Waldinger

“We’re living performance-based
lives. You want to become a human
being, not a human doing.”
— Jason Wilson

On relationship advantages – “The questions to ask ourselves is do I have enough connection in my life or even too much?”
— Dr. Robert Waldinger

Want more?
Click link for Further Explorations.

Elevated Insight

“For many men and women, the message has been clear:

“What you do defines you; provide, achieve, dominate, be ‘strong’, Do!”

But what if the greater freedom lies in simply being — in allowing the full palette of our emotions to show up without judgment and without an agenda?

Our value isn’t found in what gets done — it’s found in presence, in authenticity, in the courage to live from the heart.”

Adapted from Jason Wilson’s work.

Elevated Awareness

Notice when you limit your emotional “palette.”

Label what you are feeling, not just good, bad or sad but disappointed, hopeful, restless, proud. Use the whole palette.

Listen fully, to yourself and others. A 2-3 minute moment of genuine attention makes a difference.

Further Explorations

Because curiosity deepens awareness.

Each month, I share a few favourite resources for anyone who wants to dive a little deeper — articles, podcasts, books, and research that build on what we’ve been exploring together around the mind, body, and conscious living.

Just click the links below to read, listen, or save them for later. Follow your curiosity — and see what new insights show up along the way.

🎧 Podcast — The Mel Robbins Podcast: Jason Wilson on Emotional Freedom (1 hr 14 min)
A conversation about how men can reclaim their emotional lives, step out of survival mode, and embrace their full humanity

Learn More

📺 TED Talk — Dr. Robert Waldinger: What Makes a Good Life? (~12 min)
A timeless talk on how relationships and connection keep us healthier and happier.

Learn More

📖 Book — The Man the Moment Demands: Master the 10 Characteristics of the Comprehensive Man by Jason Wilson (6–8 hr read / ongoing reflection)
A transformative guide for men learning to live beyond fear and performance — integrating strength, compassion, and emotional fluency.

Learn More

Entry Points

When you’ve tried to think your way through something but nothing seems to stick.

Private sessions help you uncover the root cause behind what’s holding you back.

Using the guided approach of Rapid Transformational Therapy® (RTT), Conversational Tranceformation™, and Mental Fitness Coaching, we work beneath the surface challenge to create meaningful emotional and behavioral change — helping you step into deep, lasting transformation.

Foundations Call

Workshops: Tools for the Mind is a monthly 60-minute, in-person coaching workshops explore how your mind works to create harmony between thought, emotion, and body. You’ll deepen self-understanding, strengthen emotional awareness, and leave with clarity you can feel right away. Come for one topic or return each month to keep expanding your toolkit for mindful living.

December 2025No workshop, pausing for the holiday season
January 2026Habit Shift: Small Steps, Real Change
February 2026 Confidence from the Inside Out
Book at Inner-Roar

Wellness Walks: Step outside and reconnect.

These guided Walks help you slow down, engage with the land, and explore how the mind works in nature. Each walk includes a 15-minute pause for deep listening to support integration and reflection.

Available for individuals or groups from February through November, just outside Kimberley, BC on 270 acres of private land.

By Appointment

Understanding Anxiety Online Coaching (Coming 2026)

💻 Live online

Anxiety doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It means your system is working hard to keep you safe—sometimes too hard.

This course helps you understand what anxiety really is, why it shows up, and how to calm your mind and body using tools that work.

Over four weeks, you’ll build awareness, emotional regulation, and the confidence to respond differently—one small shift at a time.

✨ Science-backed strategies
✨ Weekly coaching sessions via Google Meet
✨ Practical tools you’ll actually use

Join from anywhere and learn to train your mind like a muscle. 💪💜

🕓 1 hour weekly for 4 weeks

📅 Starts: Early 2026

Join the interest list for updates.

Join Interest List

The Elevated Day Journal

This is more than a planner — it’s a guided diary for habit-stacking, emotional clarity, nervous system support, with intentional living.

✨ Now available in printable digital format on Etsy for $9.95CA

Buy Now

Tracks & Courses on Insight Timer

If you enjoy learning through audio, you’ll find guided practices that help you feel calmer, clearer, and more connected to yourself.

My work on Insight Timer includes mental rehearsals, visualizations, and practical tools designed to support emotional awareness, stress relief, and everyday mental fitness.

Download the #1 Free Meditation app to get started.

Insight Timer

Connect to schedule your 75-minute Foundations call and start your path to transformation.

BOOK NOW

Growing Up, Looking Back: A Fresh Approach to Inner Child Work

Posted on by lanna

Why the child you once were still shapes the adult you are becoming

Most of us don’t realize how much our younger selves are still shaping our adult lives. The worries we carry, the way we react when we feel overwhelmed, and the patterns we fall into without thinking—many of them began long before we were old enough to understand what was happening.

That’s where Growing Up, Looking Back: A Fresh Approach to Inner Child Work really begins.
Inner child work isn’t about “becoming a child again.” It’s about gently reconnecting with the parts of ourselves that were formed during our earliest years—the parts that learned how to cope, how to stay safe, how to earn love, or how to avoid conflict. These younger parts influence our emotional responses today, often without our awareness.

Inner child work helps us slow down, listen, and understand.
And when we do that, something powerful happens: old patterns soften, compassion grows, and we start responding from a grounded, capable place rather than an old protective one.

What Inner Child Work Actually Looks Like

Inner child work is a process of getting deeply curious about the younger parts of you. Together we explore:

  • Where certain beliefs or fears started
  • How childhood experiences shaped your responses today
  • What your younger self needed but didn’t receive
  • What tools you can use now to support those parts

This isn’t about reliving the past. It’s about bringing awareness and compassion to it.

In my approach—which blends Conversational Tranceformation™, Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT®), and practical coaching—we take a gentle, insight-based path. Each modality works together to help you understand where patterns began, how they still show up today, and how to shift them with clarity and compassion. This integrated style supports both the emotional healing of the inner child and the practical skills needed to create real change in your daily life.

Think of it as having a guide helping you connect the dots between “why this still bothers me” and “what I can do differently now.”

You don’t have to know exactly what you’re looking for. Most people come in simply feeling like something inside them needs attention or soothing—and that’s enough.

Why I’m Deeply Connected to This Work

People often ask why I feel so at home doing inner child work. The truth is:
I’ve spent most of my life working and understanding kids—how they think, feel, cope, and communicate.

A lifetime of working with children

My work with children started at 12, babysitting and supporting families in my community. By 15, I was working in daycare. By my early 20s, I was managing a full daycare program at a ski resort in Alberta.

These years gave me real-world insight into child behaviour and emotional development—insight that deeply informs how I guide adults through their inner child healing.

Formal training in development and psychology

I completed Early Childhood Education through the University of Lethbridge and studied child psychology, providing me with developmental frameworks, attachment theory, emotional regulation patterns, and behavioural understanding.

Experience with teens navigating big emotions

My time at Options for Sexual Health—supporting teens with identity, relationships, boundaries, and difficult emotions—added another layer to my work and taught me how to create safe spaces for vulnerable conversations.

Parenting twins

And of course, being a parent of identical twins has given me a front-row seat to how differently children experience the world—even with the same genetics and environment. Parenting has shaped not only my compassion, but my ability to spot developmental patterns quickly and accurately.

Put all of this together, and you have a blend of intuition, training, lived experience, and emotional depth that makes inner child work natural, grounded, and effective.

Why Inner Child Work Helps So Many Adults

As adults, we often assume we’ve “outgrown” childhood experiences.
But the patterns that formed early don’t disappear—they simply become more sophisticated.

Inner child work helps adults identify when they’re reacting from:

  • Old fear instead of current reality
  • Learned responsibility instead of healthy boundary
  • People-pleasing instead of authentic want
  • Survival strategies instead of choice

When you understand why a reaction exists, you gain the power to interrupt it.
And that shif

If You’re Feeling a Pull Toward This Work… Here’s Why That Matters

Adults are incredibly skilled at ignoring their internal signals.
We shrug off discomfort, call it “stress,” or assume we simply need to work harder, cope better, or “get over it.”

But that quiet pull—the curiosity, the nudge, the sense that something inside you is ready to shift—is meaningful.

It often shows up when:

  • You’re tired of repeating the same pattern
  • You feel like you’ve outgrown an old identity
  • Your nervous system wants more peace
  • A part of you wants to stop bracing for impact
  • You’re finally ready to understand rather than avoid

This is where Growing Up, Looking Back: A Fresh Approach to Inner Child Healing becomes powerful for adults. It gives you the language, tools, and emotional clarity your younger self never had access to.

In my work, using Conversational Tranceformation™, RTT®, and coaching, we approach this gently and collaboratively. You stay grounded. You stay in control. And you build a version of yourself that feels calmer and more aligned with who you want to be—not who you had to be.

You never have to do this work alone.

And if you’re feeling that pull, it’s likely because a part of you already knows—it’s time.

💜

Connect to schedule your 75-minute Foundations call and start your path to transformation.

BOOK NOW

Outdoor Wellness Walk

Posted on by lanna

With Lanna | RTT® Hypnotherapist, Conversational Tranceformation & Mental Fitness Coach

Located just outside Kimberley, BC

Step away from the noise and into nature for a calming wellness experience designed to help you reconnect with your inner clarity and natural rhythms.

Together, we’ll walk through forested trails to a stunning mountain overlook, where I’ll guide you through gentle breathwork, sensory awareness, and a mental rehearsal to support nervous system regulation and emotional balance. This walk offers a chance to reset your mind and body in a peaceful, awe-inspiring environment. You’ll leave feeling lighter, more grounded, and more connected to your inner calm.

🌼 What’s Included:

  • Private, guided nature walk and reflective conversation
  • Learn how your mind works to calm the nervous system, shift mental patterns, and restore clarity and ease
  • Mind-body grounding practice and guided mental rehearsal
  • A 10–15 minute audio recording delivered within 48 hours, crafted to support your ongoing well-being

🛑 Important Notes:

  • This is a wellness-based experience, not clinical hypnotherapy
  • Please dress for the weather and wear sturdy footwear
  • Walks can be booked 10 months of the year (February to November)
  • Bring water, something to sit on, and anything else that helps you feel comfortable outdoors

🚶 Accessibility:

This walk includes uneven terrain and a short hill climb. It is best suited for individuals who are comfortable walking on natural forest/game trails. The trail is not wheelchair accessible.

💵 Pricing:

Solo Experience (1 person) – $65 + GST
Duration: 75 minutes

Group Experience (2 plus people) – $55 + GST per person
Duration: 90 minutes

Family Group Experience (2 Adults, plus children 8 yrs old and up) – $55 + GST per person
Duration: 90 minutes

Child/Student rates available

✅ Booking, Waiver & Payment

To confirm your spot, full payment and a signed waiver are required in advance. Your session will be held temporarily but not confirmed until both are received.

After booking, you’ll receive:

  • A consent and liability waiver to sign electronically
  • eTransfer payment instructions
  • Session details and directions to the property

✨ Ready to Book?

Click me!
Outdoor Wellness Walks FlyerDownload

Overcoming Infertility: Top Infertility Solutions

Posted on by lanna

Infertility affects many couples. It is as tough emotionally as it is physically. I know this firsthand. I’m a mom of twins who spent 4.5 years on my own fertility journey. The struggle to conceive can feel very lonely. But, there are many solutions that can help. Infertility isn’t just about physical factors. Mental and emotional aspects matter too. This article will cover the five best infertility solutions. They have shown real results. They include lifestyle tweaks, stress management, and mental health support. If you’re on this journey, these tips might be what you need to help you move forward.

Understanding Infertility – Common Causes of Infertility

A variety of factors, both physical and psychological, can cause infertility. It’s essential to recognize these factors to address them effectively.

Physical Factors

  • Endometriosis: This condition occurs when uterine grows outside the uterus. It causes pain and can lead to infertility.
  • Fibroids: Noncancerous growths in the uterus can interfere with conception and pregnancy.
  • PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome): A hormonal disorder causing enlarged ovaries with small cysts on the outer edges.
  • Irregular Periods and Lack of Ovulation: These issues can prevent the regular release of eggs necessary for fertilization.
  • Poor Quality Semen and Low Testosterone: Male infertility factors that can affect the chances of conception.
Photo by https://unsplash.com/@omarlopez1Close-up of a baby's tiny feet cradled gently in an adult's hand, symbolizing care, love, and nurturing on the journey of overcoming infertility.

 Psychological Factors

  • Stress and Anxiety: Chronic stress can affect hormone levels and ovulation.
  • Negative Thought Patterns: Persistent negative thinking can impact mental and physical health.
  • Depression and Mood Swings: Emotional health affects physical health. Depression can hurt fertility.
  • Infertility can cause great distress. This can worsen physical issues and create a cycle of stress and infertility.

The Impact of Infertility on Mental Health

Infertility doesn’t just mess with your body—it really hits you emotionally too. The struggle to conceive and the heartbreak of setbacks can take a huge toll on you and your partner. Society, and ourselves, can pressure you to have kids. It can make you feel inadequate and frustrated.

Chronic stress can really throw women’s hormones out of whack and mess with ovulation, making it harder to get pregnant. But infertility isn’t just a physical struggle—it’s an emotional rollercoaster for both partners. The constant pressure to conceive, mixed with the heartbreak of setbacks, can weigh heavily. The stress, anxiety, and feelings of inadequacy can build up, and add pressure to personal expectations to have kids. It’s a tough cycle because the more stressed you are, the harder it can be to conceive.

For men, stress can affect physical processes. It can cause problems with erections, a low sperm count, or orgasms. Infertility affects both partners in different ways. It’s vital to address both the physical and emotional aspects of this journey. Managing stress and the emotional toll can help. It can create a more positive space for conception. This can boost your chances of success.

At the end of the day, intimacy with your partner should be enjoyable and fun. It should foster a deep connection. It should not feel like a chore or a source of anxiety about whether it will work.

Top Infertility Solutions

To tackle infertility, it’s important to take a well-rounded approach that combines both medical and holistic treatments. Here are five solutions that many have found helpful.

Infertility Solution 1) Medical Treatments and Interventions for Infertility

Photo by Tatiana Syrikova Overhead view of a mother and her young daughter typing on a laptop together while lying on a bed, symbolizing connection, nurturing, and exploring infertility solutions.

Medical treatments like In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) can be a lifeline for many people struggling with infertility. IVF works by stimulating the ovaries to produce many eggs. These eggs are then retrieved and fertilized with sperm in a lab. After monitoring the embryos for a few days, we implant the healthiest ones into the uterus. IVF is a common fertility treatment. Its success depends on age and health. So, it’s essential to consult a fertility specialist for expectations.

There are hormonal treatments beyond IVF. They can help with irregular ovulation and hormonal imbalances in you or your partner. Medications like Clomiphene Citrate or Gonadotropins are often used to stimulate ovulation and boost your chances of getting pregnant. But like any treatment, they can have side effects—things like mood swings, hot flashes, or ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome. For men, hormonal imbalances can cause problems like erectile dysfunction, reduced libido, or even infertility. Navigating these options can feel overwhelming, but working closely with a specialist can help you find the right path forward.

Infertility Solution 2) The Role of Lifestyle Changes in Enhancing Fertility

Some small changes to your lifestyle can boost fertility. It starts with a balanced diet. A load of essential nutrients can help. Folic acid, vitamin D, iron, omega-3s, and antioxidants are key. They support your health and boost your chances of conceiving. But it’s not just about what you eat. Make physical activity a routine part of your daily life. Maintain a healthy weight. Cut caffeine, alcohol, and ultra-processed foods. These changes improve your physical health. They also help create a better environment for conception, aiding your fertility journey. By focusing on these lifestyle adjustments, you’re setting yourself up for a much better shot at a healthy pregnancy.

Photo by Yan Krukau Pregnant woman sitting cross-legged on a rug, with eyes closed and hands gently cradling her belly, symbolizing relaxation, mindfulness, and the success of infertility solutions.

Regular Exercise and Maintaining a Healthy Weight

Staying active is closely tied to reproductive health. Regular exercise not only helps you maintain a healthy weight but also reduces stress and boosts your overall well-being. Activities like walking, swimming, and yoga are great options—they’re effective without being too intense.

Stress Management and Mental Health Support

We can’t overlook the impact stress and mental health have on fertility. Tackling these areas can do wonders for your overall well-being and increase your chances of conceiving. Stress management techniques like meditation and mindfulness are fantastic for keeping stress levels in check and helping you stay calm. Also, make time for hobbies you love. They can relieve stress from trying to conceive.

Infertility Solution 3) Enhancing Emotional and Relationship Health

Also, make time for hobbies you love. They can relieve stress from trying to conceive. The journey can be tough on your emotions. So, it’s vital to keep your relationship strong and healthy. Being open and honest with your partner about what you’re both going through is key. Sharing your feelings, worries, and fears helps you connect. It also supports each other through hard times. Even simple acts of love can make a big difference. They help you stay positive and close as a couple. Prioritizing your emotional health and your relationship can help. It will help you cope with the ups and downs of trying to conceive. You will be stronger and more understanding, knowing you’re in it together.

Photo by Sincerely Media Scrabble tiles arranged to spell 'We Are Having a Baby,' celebrating successful results from top infertility solutions.

You might find these books helpful:

They offer great advice on strengthening your relationship during challenging times.

A couple, after many fertility struggles, found a key to conceiving. They needed to heal emotionally and address hidden mental blocks. For more insights, you can check out the research from Translational Research or the article from the American Psychiatric Association.

How RTT® Can Help

Infertility is a very stressful, draining experience. While IVF and lifestyle changes are vital, so is the emotional side. We must focus on the psychological aspects too. Stress, anxiety, and beliefs about your worth can harm your mind and body. They can even hurt the success of medical treatments.

That’s where RTT® (Rapid Transformational Therapy) comes in as a powerful complement to your fertility journey:

Book cover of 'Trying to Get Pregnant (and Succeeding)' by Marisa Peer, featuring three adorable babies sitting side by side on the journey of overcoming infertility.
  1. Tackling Emotional Blocks: RTT® helps you find and remove harmful, subconscious beliefs. They may be holding you back. Fears about parenthood, past traumas, and feeling unworthy can reduce your chances of conceiving. RTT® shifts these beliefs. It creates a mindset more supportive of conception. By shifting these beliefs, RTT® creates a mental space that’s more supportive of conception.
  2. Cutting Down on Stress and Anxiety: Chronic stress and anxiety can seriously mess with your fertility. RTT® addresses these feelings. It helps you relieve stress and relax. This state is better for conception.
  3. Boosting Confidence and Well-being: The infertility journey can feel overwhelming. RTT® can boost your self-esteem and confidence. It can help you face the process with a positive mindset. This may be the key to your success.
  4. Supporting Wellness: RTT® is about mental and emotional healing. Your mind-body connection means that better mental health can improve your physical health. This may make other infertility treatments more effective.

If you’re looking for more guidance, check out Marisa Peer’s book, Trying to get Pregnant (and Succeeding) . It’s a great resource for anyone on this journey.

Conceiving Against All Odds

It felt like everyone around us was getting pregnant with ease. They would think about it, and then they were expecting. Meanwhile, we were struggling, trying to understand why it wasn’t happening for us.

We explored every avenue, we visited OB-GYNs and fertility clinics, hoping to find answers and a solution. We even faced the chance of moving beyond IVF, with no guarantees it would work. The journey was emotionally draining, filled with tears and frustration. Intimacy started to feel like a chore, something we had to do rather than a way for us to connect as a couple. But through it all, our shared challenges, heartbreaks, and hopes deepened our bond.

Belief & Stress

Two things stood out to me during this journey—belief and stress. Our OB-GYN told us, “It only takes one.” Just one egg, just one sperm. That simple truth became a beacon of hope and one I didn’t realize would be so profound. Then, at the fertility clinic, we learned about the impact of stress on conception. They emphasized how high stress levels could hinder our chances of getting pregnant. Running a business in the Home Medical Equipment industry can be very stressful. We decided to take a step back and focus on reducing stress. Instead of diving into a fertility plan, we took a vacation—a chance to relax, reconnect, and just be together.

To our astonishment, that vacation resulted in a pregnancy. It was a bittersweet moment, as that pregnancy ended in a miscarriage. But from that loss, we gained something invaluable: the belief that we could conceive on our own. We decided to try for another year. If it didn’t work, we’d start hormone injections. Five months later, I was pregnant again.

This journey taught us so much about belief. The belief that we could do this, that we could get pregnant, was powerful. But it also taught us about the pain of loss and the strength it takes to keep going. My husband, who had been so supportive, admitted that he only wanted to go through this once. The pain of infertility, the fear of disappointment, was something he didn’t want to relive.

Shock & Awe

At eight weeks, I went in for an internal exam. My doctor noticed that I was larger than expected for my dates and recommended an ultrasound. On a fertility journey, you know all your dates, so I assumed I was just carrying a large baby. But at 11 weeks, during the ultrasound, we experienced a moment of sheer amazement. As the technician moved the wand over my belly, she showed us our baby’s heartbeat. After the heartbreak of a miscarriage, seeing that tiny heartbeat was an incredible relief. Then, she moved the wand again and revealed a second heartbeat. We were in shock—how was it possible that without any treatments, we were pregnant with twins?

The technician reassured us that it was an identical twin pregnancy, and everything looked amazing. But with twins, our pregnancy was now considered higher risk. We went back to the same OB-GYN who had told us, “It only takes one.” At each of our next three appointments, he asked me which fertility treatment I had undergone. He was surprised every time I told him there had been none. “It only takes one,” I reminded him. That belief had somehow led us to this incredible outcome.

The Journey Forward

Infertility is a complex challenge that affects your body, mind, and emotions all at once. To navigate this journey, we must take a well-rounded approach. It should cover all these areas. Medical treatments like IVF and hormonal therapies are often essential. But they work better with lifestyle changes—think balanced meals, exercise, and rest.

Just as important is taking care of your stress levels and emotional health. Mindfulness, meditation, and therapies like Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT) can help. They can clear mental blockages and keep your mindset positive. To conceive, focus on your well-being. Nurture your relationships. Create a supportive environment. It can make all the difference.

If you’re struggling with infertility, you’re not alone. Many resources can help you. A holistic approach can boost your chances of conceiving. It can also improve your mental and emotional well-being. Keep hope alive. Reach out for support. Explore options for your journey to parenthood.

Book a 30-Minute Discovery Call

Disclaimer: The information provided here is for general guidance and informational purposes only. It is not intended to replace professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult with a qualified healthcare provider regarding any medical concerns or conditions. The advice shared is based on general knowledge and should not be considered a substitute for personalized medical care.

As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. This helps support the content and services provided here. Thank you for your support!

Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT®) and Marisa Peer: My Healing Journey

Posted on by lanna

“I can’t believe that you are such an idiot! How come you are so stupid? You’re the worst person who could ever live.”

Pain is a Pain

When I first came across Marissa Peer and Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT®) on the podcast “Diary of a CEO” with Steven Bartlett, I had been searching for a way to fix the pain in my hands and feet. I had gone through all the conventional medical pathways, testing for fibromyalgia, multiple sclerosis (MS), Lou Gehrig’s disease (ALS), and rheumatoid arthritis.

Photo by Hailey Kean on Unsplash

One of the appointments was with a neurologist. She was testing nerves in my hands and feet to hopefully rule out multiple sclerosis. Adam Grant, in his book “Think Again,” talks about being a scientist and approaching problems with an open mind. I was willing to listen to anything the specialist said to me. The amazing thing about searching for solutions is that when you’re open and curious, you can explore many paths. Living remotely, I had to look for help up to 5-6 hours away and often faced long waiting lists.

The surprising part was that I didn’t connect neurology with the mind. To this day, I find that very interesting. It wasn’t until she said, “All of your physical tests are in the normal range,” that I really started to think. This was a thorough doctor who spent quite a bit of time with me, reviewing all my tests. The next thing she said was, “Just because your physical tests are normal doesn’t mean you’re not in pain. It just means we have to consider that the pain is coming from somewhere else, rather than your body.” I thought, “Well, if it’s not from my body, where the heck is it from?” She pointed me in the direction of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT).

CBT was a great place to start because it gave me a direction to travel in. Any progress forward felt like progress toward something better. Being able to understand that there was something other than crawling up the stairs on my hands and knees, feeling like I was 1000 years old, and progressing in any kind of direction that would remotely help was amazing.

The Search for Understanding

My search for understanding, especially in the scientific world, began early. My husband and I were pretty young, around 23-24, when we became owners of a home medical equipment business. In that business, we encountered every health challenge imaginable—physical issues like quadriplegia, paraplegia, cerebral palsy affecting mobility to the point of needing a wheelchair for life, as well as pain from cancer, chronic pain, ostomies, and acute injuries from work or sports.

Photo by Kateryna Hliznitsova on Unsplash

During that time, after 4 years of trying to conceive, we became parents to identical twins. The stress of owning a business, feeling responsible for employees and babies, and caring deeply about many divergent things became crystal clear. It made me reflect deeply: Did I want to rely on medication every day, or face the prospect of being unable to move, possibly needing a wheelchair, walker, or scooter in the future—especially as a new parent? These thoughts lingered in the back of my mind for a long time. It became clear to me that I needed to prioritize my health and well-being so that I could live better and show up fully for my children.

When facing health challenges years later, it felt outside of my control. Having a clear path to follow was immensely gratifying. So, I started with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), which led me to discover the Curable app and Rachel Zoffness’s “The Pain Management Workbook.” The Curable app served as a gateway into the podcast world, introducing me to Jay Shetty’s “On Purpose” and “The Happiness Lab,” where I found a wealth of fascinating content. Beyond podcasts, I explored books, YouTube, and other sources of information. Embracing a scientific mindset opened up numerous avenues for self-help.

The Power of the Mind

Although I’ve always had a passion for psychology, especially child psychology, you don’t need any prior knowledge to apply these techniques to find information. It’s all about taking things one step at a time – thank you, Jay Shetty, for that insight! My approach used to be riddled with procrastination because I could envision the end result but struggled with the process. Now I understand that progress happens through consistent, incremental steps; there’s no quick fix or effortless path. Finding joy, fulfillment, and achievement is possible, especially when approached with a positive mindset. This shift marked the beginning of my true healing journey. Through ongoing exploration and learning, I came across the enlightening “Diary of a CEO” podcast.

Photo by Maxim Berg on Unsplash

A little over a year ago, I heard Marisa Peer talking about Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT®) on the podcast. Through all the different aspects of my healing journey, and maybe by serendipity (although I don’t believe in coincidences), she said something that made me sit up and take notice. She was talking about her book, “Tell Yourself a Better Lie”; just the title made me think: What do you mean I can ‘lie’ to myself about how I am feeling? Why would that work? I listened and then searched out all the other places, podcasts, and information that I could find about what she meant.

Because I think like a scientist, I explored the concepts she was talking about. I also tested them to see if they work. Then, I bought her books, “I Am Enough” and “Tell Yourself a Better Lie.” I was halfway through “I Am Enough” and got to the Rules of the Mind. That’s when I signed up to become a Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT®) therapist. The subconscious rewire and deep mindset work were incredible. Just hearing what she said helped transform my life. I started to think about myself as a healthy, fit person because that’s what I wanted to be.

As an aside, ‘Diary of a CEO’ remains my favorite podcast to this day. I love Steven Bartlett’s approach to interviewing—he asks questions of his guests that resonate deeply with me: What was your life like? Where do you come from? What motivates you? Why pursue your interests? His podcast, categorized under Business, Education, and Health, feels therapeutic in its depth. I started listening to the episodes sequentially, likely from Malcolm Gladwell onwards. The journey is exciting as there’s so much more to explore. Each guest, from diverse industries and backgrounds, offers invaluable insights. I find something to learn from every single person featured.

Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT®)

Fast forward and I now deeply understand what happened to cause the pain in my hands and feet. My root cause of those symptoms was the belief, I’m not enough which was due to Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT®). When I tell my friends and loved ones the words I used towards myself, they are shocked because I never treat them that way. I treat them as if I care about them and love them; they hear that I love them regularly. They feel the love I have for them. But I never once told myself that. Knowing that I could tell myself that I am enough started me on my true healing journey. I no longer say how stupid I am; I no longer say I’m an idiot, why can’t you do that right, what’s wrong with you, and any other horribly negative thought.

Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

I’m not going to tell you there’s a magic pill; there isn’t one. I thought there was but that’s only our mind tricking us into thinking that we can do it the easy way – it’s a Rule of the Mind to conserve resources for survival. There is, however, a hack and that is Rapid Transformation Therapy (RTT®). Since Marisa’s words were so inspiring in changing in my life, I imagined what working with the mind could do for myself and others.

My experience with the limiting belief that I wasn’t enough and unlovable is a feeling like you are travelling through life in a brackish swamp with water up to your knees. Every step smells putrid and there is a lot of resistance as you push through trying to gain forward momentum.  Top that with not knowing why you feel like you are Shrek in the Swamp, it kept me in bed a lot of days. Now I know that the trick is an awareness that most of these beliefs are hidden from view. They accumulate over time and become heavy and weighted without you realizing it. In my case, the only thing I felt is that my hands and feet were sore because the belief operates at a subconscious level.

With the Rapid Transformational Therapy (RTT®) tools, I learned how to skillfully guide someone on their healing journey with confidence, with compassion and with love.  All I’ve ever wanted in life is to be able to help people. I want to inspire someone to understand they are enough just as they are. Feeling so free and so loved and so excited now that I know what was driving my behaviour. I am free from my limiting beliefs so that I can truly help people around me. So that people can realize all their own dreams and aspirations and become their most authentic self. Once we know that we have triggers from our beliefs we can fix them. This is why it’s essential to understand where limiting beliefs come from and why they are so powerful.

The Path to Healing

Healing yourself takes work but it doesn’t have to be hard. What my life looks like now compared to how it looked even two years ago is night and day. I pay attention every day to my thoughts, my movement, my eating habits, and my life’s purpose. If I had told myself I’d be making all these habit changes, I would have thought, “No way, that sounds impossible.”

Photo by Kalen Emsley on Unsplash

But I’ll let you in on a little secret: it’s the most fulfilling, loving, purposeful enjoyment I get in life. I can’t wait to wake up in the morning to see what the day is like, and I go to sleep at night knowing that life is truly the most amazing, authentic life I’d been searching for. Not perfect—there were issues like perfectionism and some OCD in my operating system—but now I can use that attention to detail as my superpower to help others. There are days that are more challenging than others, but I recognize that I can use my recording to remind me about my inner Cheerleader, so the day gets better and brighter.

Taking this journey toward my own healing is the most incredible gift I could give myself. Investing in my health and healing, I am transformed from the hateful, mean, ugly person I was to myself to now realizing I’m safe, loved, protected, and significant—not in a boastful way, but in a confidently humble way. I don’t let myself be talked about without love; I advocate for myself because I deserve it. I’m enough, and because I’m enough, I expect others to treat me as if I’m enough. The amazing power of understanding what you don’t know about yourself is incredibly transformative.

I wouldn’t trade any other lesson I’ve had to learn in life to get me where I am today. All the things I’ve learned on this journey inform who I am and because I love who I am, I cheerlead for myself first, and then I can help millions of people cheer for themselves as well. You too, can invest in your future self with the healing techniques of RTT®, I know how to guide you to root cause, so that you can truly be free.

In love and care,

Lanna

As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. This doesn’t affect the price you pay but supports my work in bringing you meaningful content.